


Make the Clock Reverse

by didsomeonesayventus



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Explicit Language, Gen, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, Time Loop, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-11-14 08:44:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11204475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didsomeonesayventus/pseuds/didsomeonesayventus
Summary: Destiny is never left to chance, but, with a fatal mistake, can fate be changed?





	1. Chapter 1

Riku and Mickey were close. They were god damned close, far enough to call out to her if it weren’t for the mass of Heartless she was facing and survival occupying all of her attention. Master’s Defender glowed in ways Riku had never seen a Keyblade shine, and he wasn’t sure if it was the prowess of her hand or the bleakness of darkness. Blue and black were common colors here, but her hair stood out like a beacon, beckoning her currently unnoticed saviors. Mickey had done away with calling out to her, rushing ahead with an urgency that Riku had never seen with a determined fear in his eyes and outstretched hand.

And then the light of her blade swelled into blinding, and when they looked back that tide of Heartless was charging at them. Mickey knew how to face it, of course, but Riku had to shove him out of the way first.

“Mickey, we gotta beat this thing!” He yelled, trying to remind the mouse of bigger issues.

“S-she-”

“MICKEY, NOW!” Riku knew it was harsh, but then again, “We can always find her again later!” Where else was she gonna go? Not back home, certainly. She had to be somewhere else in this hellish labyrinth. 

Their blades cut down through the swarm, but it always seemed to grow, for every pair of eyes cut down so many more glowed through the darkness. Riku had never seen anything like this, and his stomach caught every inch of dread realizing this thing had been chasing her for Light knew how long. Every day under assault, every day fending for her life. Maybe not even knowing what a day was, anymore. They had to find the fallen Master and find her fast, because even he knew her time was probably running short. There was only so much a person could take.

But when the fiend retreated (with an awful noise, like a thousand rattlesnakes or a burst pipe filling a submarine) and quiet had returned, their blades lowered with defeat. A single star made of a silvery metal hugging deep blue glass lay cracked on the ground.

Master Aqua had vanished yet further into the darkness.

~*~

Aqua had grown too used to this. Mickey had told her what was at stake, but that felt so long ago, and even then like some taunting little dream. Of course Mickey wasn’t here. Terra and Ven weren’t. She couldn’t find the heart to cry about it anymore. She was alone with monsters- heartless monsters that, supposedly, were called such. She didn’t know, couldn’t know. The only thing that stayed with her, that felt there and real and whole, was her Keyblade, her wounds, and whatever patch of cold earth she called home for however long she slept.

Well, and the Demon Tide. It never left her alone after that fateful dream, her only piece of evidence against the whole event being a hallucination. It was real, and it wanted her heart in ways so many other Heartless wouldn’t dare. If she killed one or two, the rest would leave her alone a moment, a brief moment of sanctuary so desperately needed, but this beast was relentless, tireless. She could barely take it anymore, kept wondering when the end would come. Even if she was to be a Wayfinder for any poor soul that had found its way to her in this purgatory, she wouldn’t be of use. Just a friendly face to induce heartbreak when she finally succumbed to her prison and left them alone.

The darkness wasn’t just getting to her anymore. It was seeped into her bones, dragging behind her like weights. Her strength and resolve wavered every day more and more...

Facing the Demon Tide today was just another Tuesday (or whatever passed for Tuesday in shadow) where muscle memory took over. She went on autopilot, wondering if Ventus was really safe. Those eyes burned like coals, like Terra’s, unless he finally broke free? Maybe Mickey had found and saved them both and no one cared about saving her anymore.

Perhaps it was that thought- that one, soul crushing thought that no one cared -that made her slip. She felt claws, and they passed beyond the skin of her breast. They were icy cold, and latched onto something that made her gasp for air like she had been kicked in the solar plexus. She had no breath to scream, but the claws retracted and it hurt. Were they tearing out her skin and flaying her alive? Were they yanking a limb from her body? Had she finally run out of what little luck she had?

A light, bright and pure and stronger than anything she’d seen in (at least) ten years broke in front of her, blinding to someone who had spent so long without the sight of the sun. Her body filled with static, her ears rang and sent sound in and out in waves both silent and deafening. Her vision swam with oil slick colors and darkness and almost flickered like the light of her Wayfinder.

 _They stole my heart_ , she realized with horror. 

She had no words to scream, her mouth opened but only for a rattling breath. Her mind raced with static thoughts, too rampant to make out and too panicked to be of use. _I’ve finally lost... I’ve succumbed.... What if they were waiting for me? Light, what will happen? Will I be aware of darkness, or will I just... disappear...? Will someone save me?_

_Terra..._

_Ven..._

_I still had to save you..._

She could barely keep herself together, but her resolved returned for only a moment. She still had to see her friends one more time. She brought Master’s Defender up, high, high above her. Too high, she knew absently. Her body was already morphing, falling away. Everything was too dark, then too bright, and back again but she had to survive, she had to get her heart back before it was too late, before she became one of those... _things_.

_I have to save Terra and Ven! I have to see them one more time!_

She brought Master’s Defender down onto solid marble flooring, and it cracked with a sickening sound that echoed through the hall.

There was a large number of gasps, too loud in her ears. One of them was intimately familiar- her own? She stared at the ground, knowing the beige patterns she had just ruined-

“Aqua?!”

She lifted her head. Terra, navy eyes wide and mouth pulled into a shape she had never seen (perhaps disgust, horror, she knew she wasn’t the prettiest thing he’d ever seen, but soon enough the self conscious thought came and went). Ventus looked downright traumatized, wearing abject horror on his sleeve as easily as his infectious laughter or dazzling smile.

She was still slouched over Master’s Defender, unable to muster the energy to do much more than lift her head. Colors had swirled, she’d been fighting, and now she was...?

This couldn’t have been real, but then, just behind her: “Who are you?” That was her voice.

“W-why is there two Aquas-?!”

“I don’t know! Why do you expect me to know?! Master! Is this part of our test?!”

 _oh light, the exam._ Aqua didn’t know if she could handle this, swaying upright, “I-I-” She couldn’t help it. She wanted to explain she didn’t know what was happening, maybe banish these phantoms and free herself of this illusion, but her face broke out into a hopeful grin, “T-Terra? Ven? Ventus?” She raised her hand and stumbled forward, “A-are you-”

“You are to cease at once and go no further.”

Aqua halted, whirling, because yes, oh, yes! She had never been happier to see Master Eraqus so furious. “Eraqus! Of course, I-I-”

Ven seemed to finally realize what Aqua was holding, and, after balking a moment, tugged on Terra’s arm and pointed wildly with wide eyes. Terra stared at this intruder’s Keyblade and got the same look. He looked at Aqua- actual Aqua? He didn’t know anymore -and saw her covering her mouth. She looked at him, flickering briefly to Ven before settling her gaze back on his. Sheer terror was found in eyes normally squinting with mirth. “It’ll be okay,” he mouthed, so not to disturb what the Master and this- this- Interstellar hobo who happened to look like Aqua and carry their Master’s blade? No biggie, right? 

His Aqua (a better way to differentiate her from the pale, wounded, batshit crazy woman) nodded, but didn’t seem reassured.

“-I don’t know how I got here, but, I-I was in the Realm of Darkness and-” Aqua felt herself hyperventilating suddenly. Too excited, too hopeful, realizing now that, “And- And you- you’re-” Her voice kept catching, and she stumbled forward to touch him, “Are you real?”

Master Eraqus held up his hand, eyeing her as if she were a street rat trying to steal everything he held dear. “Who are you?”

“I-it’s me?” Aqua said, soft and hurt, “Aqua?”

“I’m Aqua?”

Aqua whirled, heart breaking anew at the sight of a healthy tan and bright eyes and a properly nourished body.

“M’am, I-I don’t mean to insult, but I... I think you’re... confused?” She held up her hands, sleeves Aqua instantly became envious of fluttering in the resulting breeze, “Take a deep breath and-”

“Indeed,”

Aqua felt her blood freeze. Her expression hardened. Her hands became fists and every inch of her skin burned at the sound of that deep, gravel-choked voice. She turned to see the old man descending from his throne to approach the situation. His gold eyes glinted with malice, now that she knew. Oh, Light, she knew what the hell he was thinking seeing her like this.

“I think,” Aqua was a Lady of War, “my dear,” A Woman of Principle! “that you should calm yourself,” She was raised with Dignity! “for a moment,” and Grace, “and explain clearly-” and Poise! She wasn’t going to-

“ _ **YOU FUCKING GODFORSAKEN MISBEGOTTEN SON OF A BITCH!**_ ” She was going to make sure that Xehanort (she couldn’t bear to call him Master anymore, he lost the right to such a title in her eyes) was a pasty smear on the floor.

There was a clamor behind her, but once again she raised Master’s Defender high above her head, ready to bury it in that leathery skin and wipe away that godforsaken smirk. Kingdom Hearts help her expunge this monster from the face of the earth-

The Keyblade fell onto the floor, its wielder with it, and Aqua found herself once more in darkness.

Her twin stood by her, Keyblade in hand, staring in horror at her doppelganger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to Ram-mcfreaking-flega for introducing the fandom to the concept of Aqua time travelling and I guess begrudging thanks to DDD for explaining time travel rules in KH.
> 
> Will probably be only a few chapters tbh, but I still kinda don't know where it's gonna go. Have some Ideas(tm) that can at least carry this forward but for now it is 1 mcfreaking am and I need sleep so enjoy for now.
> 
> Also thx rams for making me wanna write again.


	2. Chapter 2

This was just a dream, Aqua finally figured. The dying dream of a dying girl in a dead world, killed by dead fiends and no one was alive to save her. Of course her heart wanted her to daydream of going back and changing it all, sloughing off every mistake, holding some vague hope that some day things would be okay. She was gone, she knew it.

Which made it very confusing when she woke up in her bed. Her wounds were dressed, sheets were tucked lovingly around her. She sank back into it, tears finally welling in her eyes. It was so soft. She’d faced hell, didn’t shed a tear when seeing her friends again, but now here she was, tucked in bed and bawling like a baby because the bed sheets were soft. She rolled over, curling up on herself and grabbing at the covers as if they were going to vanish. She pressed the sheet against her cheek, sobbing at how tender and gentle it was. She’d lost her mind, but at least she had a wonderful blanket. Her blanket.

“Feeling sorry?”

Aqua whirled up at the sound of her own voice, upright in a second with euphoric tears running dry on command. She looked at her hands, briefly panicked, and summoned Master’s Defender as she turned her gaze to her fellow in the doorway. Aqua was now looking at a mirror, and the reflection was miffed, to say the least.

Aqua of the past walked forward, a tray with some sort of meal trembling. Perhaps apprehensive of being served to someone so... high-strung. She set it down on the side table before giving Aqua a cold, calculated sort of look. Maybe this is that cold front everyone had told her about for years.

“Sorry f-for what?” Aqua asked, grip tightening on both Keyblade and blanket.

“You _attacked a Keyblade Master and cussed him out._ ” Past Aqua said with a revulsion saved for the rudest of individuals.

“I’m not going to apologize for that.” Aqua said with similar conviction. “And if you knew what I do, I think you’d-”

“I would never do that.” Past Aqua cut her off. Her mouth pulled into a frown, and she asked with an ice-cold whisper, “Who are you? Where are you from?” There was a pointed glare given to the Keyblade in Aqua’s hand.

“I’m not putting this away.” Aqua replied in response, “You have my deepest apologies but, I-I can’t.” She could, but they were going to have to pry it from her dead hands before she did.

“Then tell me who you are, where you’re from, and why you’re here.” Past Aqua asked again. Aqua knew it was only because she was scared. She’d be, too. “... The Realm of Darkness.” She admitted.

“You’re lying.” Past Aqua said, a strain of fear in the harsh tone, “N-no one can get in there-”

“The Realm of Darkness at least ten years in the future.” Aqua repeated herself, firmer. She added on lamely, though, “At least ten... but probably even more than that.”

“Now you’re really lying because you don’t look older than me.” Past Aqua’s voice kept getting stiffer and stiffer. She folded her arms, “Who are you, what are you-”

“I’m telling you the honest truth-”

“My pupils.” Eraqus announced himself with an unspoken command. Both Aqua of the past and future silenced themselves. The Master walked forward, looking at his current apprentice. “Aqua, it is not your job to interrogate our guests.”

“Yes, Master.”

“I understand your concern, and you have every right to be, but your experience is lacking, you are not yet a Keyblade Master, and so I ask that you step aside and let me deal with this.”

“Of course, Master.”

“Be on your way. I will talk with you about our guest later.”

Aqua watched herself leave, and fell into a daze soon after. Maybe this wasn’t a dream, or maybe this was just a long, long one. Eraqus sat at the foot of her bed, hands folded, gray eyes watching her with a look she only understood because Terra and Ven had caused it so often. The “what am I going to do with you?” look. He did not fear silence, and neither did she, but the stretch of time between them lasted far too long.

“Master, I-”

“Aqua, I have a few questions for you.” Eraqus cut her off, “Where did you come from?”

Aqua nodded, leaning forward, grip trembling and head nodding rapidly, “I-I’ll tell you everything! Everything and anything and Master-”

“Aqua, still yourself.” Eraqus snapped. “That is not the proper behaviour of a Keyblade Master.”

Aqua blinked, then leaned forward a little more, leading with her tilted head, “H-how did you?”

“You would not have my blade otherwise.” Eraqus waved his hand. “I’ve always known if one of you were to become Master, it would likely be you, Aqua, and I would not give away my blade unless the situation were dire enough for it.” He leaned forward, folding his hands, “So start from the beginning, if you must.”

Aqua froze. She grabbed Master’s Defender, “I-I-” Where did she start? She looked at Master’s Defender, then desperately, “Master I have to warn you-”

“You need not warn me.” He said, “Your blade is enough.”

Aqua’s lips curled inwards. Slowly, she set the teeth of the Keyblade against the mattress before leaning against it like a crutch. Where did she begin? Where she went wrong? The exam or the Heartless? The graveyard? Terra? Ven?

“Tell me your story.” Eraqus said.

Aqua turned her face, pressing it into cold metal, “It’s been ten years at least in the Realm of Darkness.” She waited for a gasp, a word of comfort, but when the silence went on so did she, “V-Ven he... he ran away because Terra left and you told me to find him and everything-” Her throat didn’t want to say it. She choked on a sob before whispering, “Everything went wrong...” Terra and Ven were here, they were fine, but that was now and, “Terra was taken by darkness, Ventus is asleep...” Ten years of tears were catching up so suddenly, and guilt pulled herself forward in a grief-stricken lunge, “Master, I told him I’d wake him up and he’s been sleeping for over a decade! I told him I’d be with him and I feel so lost!”

Eraqus said nothing as she fell forward weeping, unable to say anything more. His arms wrapped themselves around her and smoothed her hair like he always had done when she was an apprentice no taller than his hip.

“What were you doing before you came here?” Eraqus asked.

“I was facing a- a monster, a... Heartless.” Aqua mumbled. Her eyes went wide when she remembered, “I think it stole my heart...!” She backed away, hands clawing at herself, terror in her gaze, “Wait, no, a-am I-”

Eraqus’s hand gently held hers, “No. You are... fine for now.” He then stood, hands behind his back as he paced, occasionally raising one to hold his chin. Aqua watched, wondering if maybe she should talk about why she attacked Xehanort, but she could see gears turning in his head so maybe, just maybe, he was already figuring that out.

“There is a rather... rare technique.” He finally said. “Few Masters know if it and the few who do often don’t have the means, but there is a way to travel through time.” He turned and looked at Aqua, “And I think you may have accidentally discovered it.” He smiled, if a little painfully, “You always were an incredibly bright student, Aqua.”

“I traveled through time?” She asked, slow to realize. Her eyes went wide, “T-then I can change everything! I can make sure it doesn’t happen I can-”

“Yes, but first you need to rest.” Eraqus said, pressing his hand against her shoulder until she laid down, “You’re in no condition to change the future when you’re malnourished and exhausted in the present.”

Aqua didn’t want to sleep. She wanted to make sure everything went right. She hugged Master’s Defender against her chest the way a little girl held a stuffed bear, but her eyes refused to droop. “What about the Mark of Mastery Exam?”

“We’re delaying it in the wake of your arrival.” Eraqus simply replied as he walked away. “I’m anticipating a day or so, a week at most.” He lingered in the doorway, just long enough to smile over his shoulder, “If you return to health soon enough you may get to see yourself become a Master.”

But Aqua couldn’t sleep, and her meal went untouched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing to say but everything hurts


	3. Chapter 3

It was late in the night, and the two Masters hadn’t spoken a word since a feral echo of a star pupil had wildly attacked. Of course, said star pupil had knocked her clone unconscious before any harm befell the target, Xehanort, but the two had yet to meet on proper terms about today other than a quaint agreement to hold off the exam until things were settled again.

The apprentices- sans this unsettling Aqua from the future -were having an evening together. Eraqus let them off the hook from their evening duties and training to let out the unease of so many frightening implications. He knew they were still likely muttering to themselves about what this omen meant, but he hoped that levity came with releasing their hearts of such burdens.

So for now he was doing his research like a good Master, sitting across from Xehanort doing his own. Even so many years later the man read with book in one hand, head in the other, legs crossed and foot kicking. It was easy for him to imagine the youth with silver hair styled shaggy yet oddly precise winding away merely hours on a book that would take him a week.

Eraqus stood, setting his book down in exchange for pulling out an old, old chessboard.

Xehanort pulled his gaze from his text, eyebrow arched and eyes narrowed.

“My old friend,” Eraqus said as he arranged the pieces, finishing with a wave of his arm, “Would you like to play chess?”

Xehanort paused. He slowly closed his book and sat opposite of Eraqus without a word. He leaned back in his chair, arms folded neatly in the lap of his crossed legs. His look remained, one part curious, two parts irritated, an overwhelming pinch of wild intelligence sizing Eraqus up the way a falcon judged if a rabbit was fat and tasty enough to be worth eating.

Eraqus moved the first pawn forward.

“Have you heard of the ability to traverse time itself?”

~*~

Aqua watched Terra and Ventus spar, unable to bring herself to join in like she usually would. She kept seeing herself like that- that ghost. Pale, bruised, blood-clotted skin, wild eyes, muscles defined with use and starvation. It was terrible, horrible, an image caught in her gaze in a way that made her wish she was blind.

“And Ven bites the dust again!” Terra proudly proclaimed as Ven did indeed stumble and fall.

The youth rolled over and rubbed his head, “Says you!”

“Says your butt on the ground.” Terra smugly dug the end of Earthshaker into the ground.

They both looked at Aqua, as if they expected her to smile and giggle. Her face was stony, and like Medusa their smiles fell as well. Ven leaned back, then hopped up onto his feet using the inertia of swinging them forward coupled with a press of his hands against the ground. He clapped them together like chalkboard erasers, whistled lamely to fill the uncomfortable silence.

“How ‘bout uh....7 outta 13?” He asked.

Terra had dismissed his Keyblade already, having a more-than-just-staring staring contest with Aqua. She kept shrugging and gesturing and so did he, but not a word passed between them. Ven huffed, pouting about being excluded from the secret language of “best friends” as they insisted. He was their friend, too, but he didn’t get a single bit of what was going on.

“Alright, I get it.” Ven said, throwing up his hands and heading back inside, “I’m goin’ to bed.”

Terra and Aqua waved after him:

“Right.”

“Night, Ven.”

Terra walked the opposite way, joining her on the wall as they both turned to the sunset. He licked his lips, she fiddled with her sleeves. Eventually he leaned back, exposing himself for whatever was running through her head, and she leaned forward to cradle it to her chest.

“Sun’s nice. Shame Ven wanted to head inside.” Terra whispered.

Aqua said nothing.

“I promise, she’s not you.”

“She told me she was me.”

“Well she’s stupid then.”

“Okay, my exact duplicate is stupid. Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“No, I’m just saying that she might be something trying to trick you into thinking she’s you.”

“But why? What could she gain from that?”

“I dunno.”

More silence. A low whistle, coaxing birds from their sleepy nests to join in the small song. Fingers drummed against stone. Breaths roared with nothing to hide them. Terra let Aqua have privacy from his gaze, focused on the red sun dipping into the mountains and bathing the world in orange and red and pink with lavender shadow. He didn’t know what to make of Other Aqua, either, but His Aqua was taking things too seriously. She always did.

“I don’t know why she’d attack Master Xehanort, honestly.” Terra muttered, “He hasn’t done anything wrong. Looks a little... unconventional, sure, but he’s not evil, is he?” His question rang with a facetious laugh that faltered when Aqua didn’t reciprocate. He let it linger before gently holding her shoulder, “It’s gonna be fine, okay? Promise.”

“What made her like that?” Aqua murmured, “What happened, Terra? What’s going to happen to me-”

“Nothing, okay?” Terra stopped her then and there. His hand squeezed her shoulder, “Nothing.”

She didn’t reply.

“Let’s head inside...” Terra muttered, turning them both from the sun and towards the shadows to retreat and try to process a day too long.

~*~

Since they were the same person, apparently bunking together was not too bad an idea to Master Eraqus. Aqua could tell her past self wasn’t enjoying it, so instead of hogging the bed she had replied the floor and a comforter would be luxury compared to where she used to be sleeping. There was an awkward exchange, too stiff to really be polite and too weak to be argumentative. Past Aqua had protested once that she should have the bed because she’s the guest, then a lame response that maybe they should share it, and then Aqua let her future self do as she pleased.

Not that it mattered, because Aqua knew even if she was in the bed she wouldn’t be asleep. Even if a comforter and a home’s floor were better than anything in a long, long time, she couldn’t sleep. She kept seeing shadows, glowing eyes. Her Keyblade- Her Master’s Keyblade? -never left her grip.

She couldn’t find her Wayfinder. She didn’t want to turn on a light even if she desperately wanted some sign that nothing was going to come and tear out her throat in the night. There was nothing to replace the hollow ache in her chest, heavy like someone had piled the thickest textbooks atop it.

Aqua got up and left. She rushed down the hall, through the atrium, through every corridor and room warped by moonlight and lantern and shadow. It looked nightmarish to her, so suddenly it looked like she was back there and back in hell and no one cared and she couldn’t even scream and-

Night air. Cold and clean and crisp and fresh that smelled like water and pines and mountains instead of stale, recycled must. She glided down the stairs, eyes closed to preserve the moment of wind in her hair and actual air in her lungs. It almost stung, too thin in some ways and bitterly cold that burrowed into goosebumps on her skin.

And then Aqua opened her eyes.

Stars.

She gasped with tears welling in her eyes. Actual stars. A crescent moon. Real light. She spun in place, looking for all of them and relishing each pinprick of light, each world greeting her into this cold night with the warmth of a family long forgotten. The Realm of Light. Home.

“This can’t be real...” She murmured. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe her body was still decaying into darkness somewhere while the last remnants of her heart lived out this childish, silly fantasy in its dying moments within a Heartless. Instead of just seeing her life flash before her eyes she could take this one moment and rewrite it to be etched even into a memory beyond death where nothing went wrong and- and-

The light looked so real. Light was welcoming its lost child home. She could make out constellations and comet trails and swaths of galaxies and it was all radiant, celebrating her return and putting on the best display possible. Even if it was paltry, a night covered in clouds or blinded by a full moon, she would’ve been dazzled just as much as she was in this moment.

“A-Aqua?”

Aqua’s head snapped back down to earth, seeing Ven clambering down the steps with a blanket around his shoulders. His breaths made a syncopated series of clouds, slightly malformed each time by a stray tremble or shudder.

His eyes watched her warily, “Y-you’re really Aqua, right?”

Aqua didn’t know how to respond to that question. Her mouth flapped, she blinked, before her grim countenance returned. Maybe this wasn’t real. Maybe her mind and heart were playing tricks. Why else would Ven ask her such a thing, right?

“I don’t know.” She looked back up at the sky, deciding to let herself drift. The swirls of blue and black cradled her thoughts, let her feel lighter.

“That makes two of us.” Ven muttered, pulling up next to her and craning his neck. After a moment she felt his blonde spikes pressing against her arm, “Pretty, aren’t they?”

“Beautiful...” Aqua breathed. Breathed in real air, real light.

“See? You are Aqua!” Ven giggled, pulling away to rush in front of her, grinning wide, “Who else would say that?!”

“A lot of people, Ven.” Aqua found herself making a dry sort of laugh. Maybe she was too used to sighing.

Ventus went back to her side with a shrug, “I guess.”

They watched the slow movement of the heavens, the silence only broken by Ven pointing out a new star or constellation to seek Aqua’s soft approval. He knew his night sky like the image of his hand against the glimmering darkness.

“Aqua, I... uh...” Ven’s voice began retreating, and Aqua’s stomach filled with dread. “Are you really... from the future?” Ven tried to cover his apprehension in a blink, enthusiastically adding, “Am I cool?! Do I have a cool Keyblade?! I bet I’m so cool.”

Aqua could only see Ven still stuck on a throne, forever asleep. If she was dead or stuck in the past, no one would wake him up, would they? No one knew where he was. She covered her mouth in an attempt to bottle up the rush of despair and guilt, completely missing Ven prattling on to cover up his nerves.

“You’re... s-super cool.” Aqua hesitantly lied. “You got so strong, Ven.” That was a little better. He had gotten strong, strong enough to take on the boy in the mask- his own darkness -and attain victory, no matter how pyrrhic. But even with her pride at how much he grew, at how much Ventus was willing to give to save those he loved, she was haunted by some of the last words she heard from him were begging her for death, how maybe without his heart his body would decay until there was nothing to bring his heart back to and it was-

Ven quietly wrapped his blanket around her.

“Not as cool as you, I bet.”

Aqua found her throat was too dry for a response. Her legs gave out, and soon after Ven sat down next to her. She pulled him into a hug and the blanket around them both as they stared at the night sky.

She looked at him, and was grateful for how he didn’t notice.

The stars in his eyes were more valuable than the light that created them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE DID IT GUYS WE GOT BLESSED BY THE RAMS also wow I completely forgot what it was like to have people liking your stuff???? im gonna cry?????????? how dare you??????????????


	4. Chapter 4

It had been so long since her apprenticeship, Aqua was confused by the ring of a bell instantly dragging her past self out of bed, standing straight at the door before the echo even stopped. She sat up, and it took her an eternity to stand, but soon enough she hobbled over to cling to the doorframe and observe Terra and Ventus in the same bizarre position of perfect obedience. Well, except for Ven clearly struggling with the temptation to nod off.

A series of clunky clicks signaled Eraqus, walking by and eyeing each apprentice for even a hint of something to critique. Terra and both Aquas received nods, but he paused at Ventus.

“Staying up long past your bedtime again, Ventus?”

Ven dropped to facade, releasing a yawn that must’ve taken up his entire lungspace as he rubbed his eye, “Yeah...”

“You’re young, you need your sleep.” Eraqus said with a sigh that sounded just as tired.

“But I-”

“ _Ventus._ ”

The boy fell silent, but couldn’t resist another yawn.

Aqua felt almost naked, slouched just behind her younger self and still blinking sleep from her eyes. It had been forever since she had thought about sleeping in, but even then she’d managed to get up without being disturbed by a bell. It was sudden, too sudden for her, and there was no adrenaline to help her wake this time.

Eraqus’s gaze drifted to her, and he opened his mouth as if to say something before closing it with a nod down the hall. Aqua was sure she was the first to hear footsteps, or maybe her fellows were just too nervous about leaning forward like she did to see who owned them. She pushed past her past self in an instant, curious. Her bleary expression darkened in an instant, glowering as she strode forward unflinching, Keyblade drawn, towards Xehanort-

“Aqua.” She stopped on a dime at Master Eraqus’s behest. She looked back, confused and exasperated. He only shook his head, “He is just as much our guest as you.”

Aqua thought for a moment, then dared to snarl at him, “He is not-”

“Under this roof, as long as I am alive and breathing, he IS our guest and will be honored as such.” Eraqus walked forward, and she could read the storm in his eyes clearer with every step. “Dismiss your blade.” He ordered.

Aqua looked at Master’s Defender in her hand, at Xehanort, then at Eraqus. “No.”

“Aqua, I know that where you are from you may be a Keyblade Master, but if you are to stay here, I mandate that there shall be an armistice.” He waved his hand at the apprentices watching this with wide, fearful eyes. They hadn’t broken rank, but Ventus was clearly disturbed, and Terra’s brow furrowed like a plowed field. Her own expression was as composed as ever, but she knew the squint on her eyelids, the smallest tweak in her brow.

“This is no way to treat such an old man.” Xehanort lamented, “Eraqus, I had only agreed to stay if-”

“I ask both of you,” Eraqus jumped in- figuratively into the conversation and quite literally between them, “Nay, I beseech you both from the bottom of my heart: do no harm, live in peace for just a few more days.” He held out his hands, “I do not ask of you to cooperate, nor admire each other, but do not take away what peace of mind our future candidates hold.”

Aqua met Xehanort’s gaze. He stared unflinchingly back.

“You are no mere old man.” She muttered.

“And you may not be who you claim to be, Master Aqua, if I can assume you speak the truth.” He shot back.

“Do we have an agreement?” Eraqus lamented. “I would like it if I did not have to kick out my colleague, or a young woman in desperate need of asylum, my own apprentice or not.” He sighed yet again when Aqua and Xehanort resumed a heated argument through glares, white, cracking knuckles, and deeply gouged frowns.

“She does kinda belong in a crazy house...” Terra muttered out of the corner of his mouth, likely towards Ven and apparently thinking he was safe from the trained ear of his Master.

“All of you, thirty laps around the courtyard and meet us in the atrium immediately after to display what skills you have learned this week.” Eraqus said, flat, furious, and final.

“The _entire_ courtyard. _**Now.**_ ”

~*~

“ _Terrraaaa...!_ ” Even Ven howled with exhaustion after the first ten laps.

“ _Terra!_ ” Aqua growled after fifteen.

“ _ **Sorry...!**_ ” Terra muttered with every completed loop.

When the first of them- Ven, eager to get it over with since this was not fun running this was Terra-was-a-fucking-idiot running -stopped, he waited. Aqua and Terra were too close for him to call when they finished, and for a moment they gathered in a small victory circle. Aqua and Ven glared at the offender.

“You had... to open... your big mouth.” Aqua panted. Sweat poured down her brow, her sleeves stuck to her arms, and her back kept tingling in the most unpleasant situation of knowing she was making waterfalls herself. Maybe more than just feeling sweaty and gross, though, there were other issues neatly tucked up her sleeves. A more pressing issue to her glare.

“No... fair... h-he can’t... do that, right?” Ven had trouble forming words between gulps of air. The poor boy’s face was so scarlet the two older apprentices wondered if he was suffocating and about to pass out from pushing himself so hard. Which was really his own fault for a lack of impulse control, and when running he was competitive on his own bull-headed terms. In this case this meant winning at the cost of his senses, because soon after he said, “He’s such... a.. Such a ding-dong... dingus... ‘Cuz Terra... You were right...”

“He can... Ven, you... you dummy...” Terra whined. He wiped at his face, feeling an aching everything and especially achy legs. “Look, I-I said... I’m sorry... okay? Thirty times...” Terra pleaded, “I-I didn’t think that... he’d take it so seriously.” He looked at Aqua, trying to figure out why she’d pulled out the classic, deadpan, “you’re dead to me” glare. They’d had to run laps before-

An impatient bell made them all raise their heads.

“Shit.”

~*~

Eraqus had let Aqua sit in the center chair for the demonstration (for now the sight of Eraqus chewing each of his pupils out for taking too long and apparently dawdling), and to her it was more than uncomfortable. This was Ven’s chair in the future, and in this present it was far from hers. She failed every one of her duties, she had no right to sit where Masters sat.

She glanced at Xehanort out of the corner of her eye. He wasn’t watching the schadenfreude-laden display, he was watching her. He lounged back, gnarled hands trapping his knee, face forward and slits of gold watching her movements carefully. Aqua gripped the armrests, praying for the strength to not murder the man here and there.

“How can we know you’re truly Aqua?” He asked, simple, almost careless. “Perhaps you’re just a young woman with a case of-”

She summoned her Keyblade, digging the teeth into the floor with a nasty scrape far worse than nails on a chalkboard with the acoustic bonus of an almost needlessly large atrium.

Four pairs of eyes turned to witness the heated silence between the two before Aqua smiled- a sickeningly saccharine smile laced with agonizing venom -and spoke through gritted teeth, “You have my word and this blade as your proof that I have no reason to lie.”

Xehanort seemed unperturbed. He even scoffed and shrugged his shoulders, but his gaze turned away, finally. “I can imagine you’re playing off my colleague's empathy to gain an optimal vantage point to end us both.” His gaze returned, daring her to make another move, taunting her to prove him right, “You’re going after me first because I am near-defenseless in my advanced age.”

Aqua felt every string of tension pulling at her. The desire to see an end to that insufferable bastard, the remorse at realizing how readily she was accepting that option, the eyes of not only her Master but her friends, herself, maybe even Masters of the past. History had its eyes on her in the very moment, waiting to see what she was made of, waiting to see how her integrity held under bone-crushing stress.

“Will I have to lecture yet more children?” Eraqus asked.

Not in front of Ventus, she decided. She sat back in her chair, leaning Master’s Defender against her leg as she crossed them in a dainty gesture to mock Xehanort, and she kept her back tall, her head held high with pride, and her arms on the armrests to open her radiance to all. What was left of it, at least. It felt like there was more than there was if she could act the part just right.

“No. None at all. You have my apologies for the disturbance.” She murmured.

Eraqus nodded, though not without a warning glare to the both of them before resuming his seat. He held up his hand, “Ventus, you first.”

Terra and Aqua scooted away, leaving poor, unprepared Ven panicking. Aqua shook her head with a pitying smile, knowing Ven was likely used to going last. “I-I-I-” He was downright working his jaw on some invisible piece of gum, “I! Uh!” He bowed, “M-master Eraqus, Master Xehanort, Master...” He swallowed, then blurted out, “Can we call her something besides Aqua? W-we can’t have two Aquas. I-it’s... distracting.”

Once again all eyes were on her. She scrambled for a name, any name, something to use. The names of allies flitted through, names they had yet to know, but she didn’t want to steal any of them. She didn’t want to taint an impression that had yet to be made. Her Keyblade. Her old Keyblade. Rainfell. Rain. “Call me Rain.” She could assume such a persona for now.

“Master Rain.” Ven said with a firmer nod, though he still seemed uncomfortable. He stood straight, squared his shoulders, and proclaimed, “Let me show my mastery in the...” He hesitated, searching desperately for a talent for a moment, “Arcane arts!”

Every Master was unenthused. Aqua shook her head and sighed. Terra covered his face.

Ventus started finding his performative rhythm, though, and flicked his hand out. His fingertips glowed like embers, and he wrote his name out in the air with fire. He looked back with an excited, prideful show of teeth. He failed to recognize the letter behind his back dimming far faster than anticipated, making the scrawl look more like:

“... ant...s...” Rain murmured, squinting at the rapidly burning afterimage.

Ven’s smile faltered, winding tighter with a manic sense of fear while his ears glowed with embarrassment.

Eventually Eraqus spoke, “Very well.” He waved his hand and summoned orbs of light to serve as targets. Ven summoned his Keyblade and spun it, and immediately after fumbled and dropped it. Rain could hear Aqua and Terra hissing. Ven scrambled to pick it up, and soon after he was unleashing what... mostly worked for the definition of magic. His lighting was sparks, fire embers, frost instead of ice and breezes instead of gusts. It was better than nothing, his audience supposed.

Though towards what was a clear end, just when Eraqus was about to say enough, a triumphant smile appeared and Ven raised Wayward Wind above his head, looking at it like this was definitely going to salvage his less-than-stellar display:

“BALLOON!”

A barrage of brightly colored balloons flew from the tip, flying off in different directions and popping quite explosively near the targets and leaving confetti shrapnel in their wake. Confetti Ventus basked in, hands on his hips and pearly whites on full display. He gave an exaggerated bow, “I have no problem with an encore-”

“An encore will be needed.” Eraqus sighed, then snapped, “Ventus, what on earth was that foolishness that you just showed us-”

“I’ve been workin’ on that one allll week.” Ven declared with a far from appropriate smugness. “You see-”

“What you should have been working on was your basic elements.” Eraqus said, leaning forward, “Not childish sleights of hand.”

“O-okay, but those balloons actually explode-” Ven began defending himself before glancing at Master Xehanort’s dour expression. His face blanched, his words fell into a stuttering, incomprehensible murmur. He backed up, shuffling his feet, bending forward, grabbing at his hands as Wayward Wind vanished into light.

Rain sat straighter. She looked at Xehanort. Hindsight was a painful thing to bear, but in his case it was fuel for a fire long put out.

“.... s-sorry, Master.” Ven whispered before bowing, and leaving the center of the room.

Terra went next, quicker and slightly more impressive. He showed a sword technique from another world with perfect, if choppy, form, and then moved on to show how he had synthesized the techniques from it into his own. It wasn’t flashy, but it wasn’t mediocre either, and he was commended for the eclectic approach to how he would one day defend the cosmos.

Aqua- the best for last -also displayed feats of magic, but on a much more impressive scale. She’d taken certain spells and reworked them into different ones, running through cartwheels aflame, using ice to conduct lightning. Rain’s fury melted at the sight of the floor iced over, Aqua displaying the earliest concepts of her Spellweaver technique. The nostalgia was almost too much: how awkward she moved, the hesitation in the swing of her blade, the unsteady sway when she finished in an otherwise perfect fourth position.

This one earned claps and glowing remarks, and Aqua took it with an ice-cold composure that slowly melted with the modest blush on her cheeks.

“If I may ask,” Eraqus said, looking towards Rain as Aqua rejoined her brothers with subtle high-fives, “Would our most recent guest like to show us what she has learned?”

Rain felt herself falter. She swallowed the dry lump in her throat. Ven watched her with wide eyes, wondering if she’d really do it, and the gaze had her fully yield the way sunflowers instinctively followed the sun. She picked up Master’s Defender and walked forward, “I-I don’t... see why not.”

It felt empty, and uncomfortable being watched. She almost didn’t want to fight, she wanted to rest, but part of her was all but dying without the daily rush of battle. She stood in a battle of wills long enough for everyone to shuffle around, cough, wonder if she was having second thoughts.

Prism rain heralded the start, and she dipped right into bona fide, tried and true, perfected Spellweaver. It was a dance too familiar, one that she was dizzyingly lost in after only moments but guided by muscle-memory’s strings. The atrium disappeared. The Master disappeared. Terra and Ven disappeared. Darkness entered her vision, voices could be heard just beyond it. Someone with a high, clear voice. Someone who sounded somewhat like Terra, but different.

She brought the display to an end with a firing of Thundaja right at Xehanort, and the deadly bolts stopped at his feet only inches away from mortally wounding him. Rain- Aqua -felt her gaze refocus. Her eyelids fluttered, useless for a moment as she regained her bearings. She met Xehanort’s glare with defiance.

Eraqus took a deep and heavy breath, praying to Light yet again that day.

“That is more than enough for the day. You are dismissed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Highlight: imagine a very poorly made MIDI of Ven's theme during his stint of showing off.
> 
> Also I'm really glad and somewhat humbled at how this is quickly entering my top three fics on here despite posting like two days ago????
> 
> I'm also really sleepy because I'm stupid and staying up into early morning to make sure I'm keeping the chapter uploads quick n snappy because I'm lame and badly crave that validation but hey I wanna promote this because wow!!! WOW I WANNA WRITE?!!! like wow leaving kudos and comments and sharing leads to a writer with more will and desire to upload frequently who would've thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Aqua suddenly realized that she’d been missing meals. It was slow, figuring that if she were hungry she’d feel that way, but sitting at a table with food in sight and smell and glorious food-y display she was starving. She hadn’t even realized, really, and didn’t even give a second thought to everyone vanishing.

Her stomach agreed, and made a grumble so loud- one literal years in the making, she realized -everyone and the table did a double take. They stared at her for a moment, and then Eraqus attempted to spare her the embarrassment, “Is there something here?” He looked under the table, “If someone brought in a new pet-”

“N-no, that was... me.” Aqua admitted.

There was that look again. What was he going to do with her? He then began eating, quipping, “Well, has a little noise scared away appetites?” Immediately after the answer was apparent, but at least everyone dug in. Ven yammered between mouthfuls of rice to Terra, who would nod but be more focused on his meal, Aqua making casual chat between swaths of noodles. The two Masters made pleasant, but oddly strained chit chat more suited for strangers than men that had been raised together through an apprenticeship.

It all kind of fell apart when everyone noticed Aqua digging into her food with a relish unseen. The past Aqua stopped eating, her mouth curling a little upon seeing that her doppelganger had no reservation or manners anymore. Aqua didn’t really care. She’d missed Terra and Ventus with a visible ache that her mind revolved around, but food was another matter altogether that she’d learned to stop thinking about. Feeling full, tasting something that wasn’t blood or morning breath, getting to chew on something, it was all delightfully new. Not that she’d never eaten anything, but... It was nice to have an actual meal for the first time in a decade.

She came to an awkward stop when she saw everyone staring, and hesitantly, hastily grabbed a napkin to wipe at her mouth with. Her gazed darted away.

“Nice.” Ven quipped, giggling madly in a classic display of crass boyishness. Terra snorted at that.

Aqua was giving herself a dagger glare when she redirected it to Ven, “Ven!”

“What?” He whined back, “She’s enjoying her food!” Aqua was at least grateful for that. A small smile appeared when she watched him pout, glumly returning to his food. It was a nicer thing to see than vacant eyes, or a corpse sealed away behind glass-

She winced softly at the memory, then coughed a little as she almost choked on her meal right after. The small-talk over dinner returned, but it was yet more strained. Past Aqua asked about where Terra had taken inspiration in his sword technique from, and in return Terra explained and asked her how on earth she was already so good at magic. Xehanort and Eraqus had fallen silent, but occasionally murmured to each other in hushed tones that were easily lost to passing plates and requests for food or sauces amongst chatter. Ven asked Aqua if he could still call her Rain but admitted he didn’t like it much because she was Aqua duh and you know what:

“Master Eraqus,” Ventus asked, “Do you, uh... know what’s going on?”

The table fell silent.

Eraqus finished chewing, thoughtfully swallowed, and said, “Yes.”

“Then what’s going on? Who is she?” Ventus pressed, “I-I she really Aqua? And how because-”

“This isn’t a conversation for dinner.” Eraqus said with an air of finality, “I will explain in time-”

“All due respect, Master,” Terra said, setting down his bowl, “but... it’s been a day since she just... appeared. W-we’d like to know why.” He seemed conflicted for a moment before he added, “Isn’t it your job to give us guidance?”

“My guidance is this:” Eraqus set his hands down on the table, “You don’t need to worry about Aqua... Rain... whatever she wishes to go by.”

Aqua hunched over her food a little more, wishing she could shrink. She didn’t want to make a fuss, she didn’t want an already awkward dinner going sour-

“But Master Eraqus,” Past Aqua objected, “I-I think that we should know who we’re sitting with-”

“You’re sitting with someone we can trust.” Eraqus answered, “Now as I said, this is not-”

“Master, we just want to know!” Ven spoke up, “Can’t you tell us anything?”

Xehanort sipped his tea with a smugness only Aqua detected, “Yes, Eraqus, can’t you tell us anything about our guest?”

Eraqus took a deep breath, one that made his shoulders rise before they slumped like someone had gently stroked them down. “She is Aqua.” He admitted, “And we have no reason to mistrust her-”

“But how are there TWO Aquas?!” Ven asked. He set aside his food, leaning forward, “Did someone-”

Terra’s voice joined the clamor, “Master, that doesn’t make any sense-”

The past Aqua’s voice lended a confused wail that only made the uproar worse, “If she’s me then why is she-”

“ENOUGH!” Eraqus roared, standing abruptly with a painful scrape of his chair against the floor. Everyone leaned back in their seat, eyes wide and mouths thin. He waved out his hand, “As your Master I expect that you trust my word, and I expect your trust in that you shall know the truth when you are ready for it! I know this is a confusing time for you all, but it is best you don’t ask for truth you are unprepared for!” Another deep sigh, and he bent over the table as if it were a strategic map he sought his words in carefully. “I will answer your questions in time, but I ask that you give me time-”

“But this doesn’t make sense!” Past Aqua stood, “If she is me then what happened to her and why is she-”

Eraqus shot her a glare, “Aqua-”

“No, Master, I am not going to stand by when I deserve answers!” Aqua held her ground.

“You are not ready for answers-”

“But I have a right to know-”

“And you are not ready to know-”

“I don’t care!”

Aqua very carefully covered her face as the argument continued, wishing that just maybe she could dissolve into a puddle. She didn’t even know why she was here, didn’t even know if this was real. At least she still had time to change things, right? Maybe she’d get the drop on Xehanort just after this-

“If you all are going to pry into matters that you shouldn’t be, then you leave me no choice,” Eraqus declared, “All of you are forbidden from here on from consorting with this other Aqua.”

“WHAT?!” Ven yelled. Aqua of the past gasped. Terra leaned back in his chair, looking at Eraqus like he was going crazy.

Aqua’s hand only left her face to cover her mouth. Terra and Ventus right there and she wasn’t even allowed to- At least in darkness she never could see them, but see and not speak, be just inches away from holding them and telling them- this was a new level of torture that made her find her voice, “Eraqus-”

“It’s for your own good.” Eraqus was clearly not taking his word back, “Until I can explain what is happening, I will just have to trust that you can all refrain from investigating matters unfit for apprentices.” He looked at both Aquas, “You two will still share a bedroom, but I will see to separating you soon enough. My apprentice, I have you word that you won’t go looking for trouble?”

“It’s not...” Aqua muttered before a resigned sigh. “Right. Of course.”

Eraqus sat back down, and folded his hands in his lap. “You’re all dismissed.”

Ventus looked at Terra. Terra looked at Aqua. Aqua glared at herself.

“I said you’re dismissed.” Eraqus hissed. “Myself and Master Xehanort have important matters to discuss.” He looked at his weary and war torn apprentice, adding softly, “You may stay.”

Ven sprang to his feet first, scrambling to make sure he wasn’t there to see Eraqus blow up. Terra lingered, perhaps daring the thought of sticking around in protest, but slid back in his chair, stood, bowed, and left. Both Aquas lingered. The past one spoke up, “Whatever she can hear, I can hear, too.”

Eraqus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Aqua-”

“Master I need to know.” She said, voice breaking, “Why is she here and what is going to happen to me?”

“One meets his destiny on the path he takes to avoid it.” Eraqus shot back, “So it is best you do not know-”

“I want to know, I have a right to know.” Aqua begged.

Aqua agreed, “She does.”

“It’s both of us or neither.” They said in a rare moment of cooperation.

Eraqus hesitated before silently dismissing them both.

~*~

Aqua was starting to not enjoy the floor anymore. Too hard, suddenly. Not now that she was getting pillows from her friends, wordless and yet the oddest form of defiance she’d seen yet. A heap of stuffed fabric shoved into her arms with firm nods confirming she wasn’t gonna sleep on the floor again.

“I have so many things I wish I could ask you...” Aqua murmured from the bed.

“Then ask.” Aqua replied from the floor.

“The Master-”

“I won’t tell.”

“I gave him my word-”

“You’d be surprised how meaningless that can be.”

Silence.

“I-I think I’ll just... go to bed. I should be strong, resist temptation.”

“Alright. Just know that I’m... I’m in the dark, too, okay?”

No reply. Aqua laid on her back, staring at the inky ceiling. Why was she here? Eraqus had mentioned time travel, but had also said it was rare and seemed hesitant about the idea. But why? Really the only other thing that made sense was this was the grandest illusion yet, that she was lost so deep in darkness that maybe- oh light maybe she-

She felt tears on her cheeks. She didn’t want to think about resigning herself to eternal darkness again. She didn’t want to go back, she’d have to be dragged kicking and screaming and- and- She sat up and bolted out of the room. She felt suffocated in the corridors, she had to resist the urge to scream and wail at what a personal hell this was. She was still stuck in darkness, but now the darkness was painting her a picture too good to be true.

The grass of the courtyard felt uneven, springy, something different than stone and sand and hard earth, and she kept running. Maybe she’d find out the truth, maybe she’d come out into those same vacant swaths of darkness. She almost wished she’d find darkness.

And then she tripped, and she skidded and rolled on the ground in ways that made her just-now-recovered wounds scream in pain anew. She relished it, sickened by the idea of finding solace in the simple idea of pain meaning she was alive but relieved nonetheless. After a few breaths to steady her racing heart, she rolled onto her back.

Stars. The stars were still there. Darkness could never imitate that.

But then why had she traveled back?

Ven’s face popped into view, “Hey, you okay?”

Aqua gasped, then winced, then whispered, “No.”

Ven vanished, replaced by a weak green light and a scattered burst of leaves. The magic was pitiful on her wounds, but the thought healed far better. She felt him sit next to her, a silent gesture of solidarity continued by him leaning back with his hands holding his head.

“What are you doing?” Aqua asked, voice dry and cracking.

“Don’t care what the Master says.” Ven explained, “He said you’re Aqua, which means you’re my friend.” He held up his hand, likely offering it for some gesture of support, “I don’t leave my friends behind.”

Aqua stared at his hand before silently tapping it in a pseudo-high-five. Shortly after, they fell into silence, and eventually Ven’s hand tangled up in hers to tether her to the earth. He discarded the subject of pain in favor of telling stories about the stars, asking her about what worlds were out there and bringing up ideas as silly as a world made entirely of pancakes or serious as a world where people didn’t know what friends were. There were so many stars, Aqua could only agree there were probably at least one of his ideas out there.

“Aqua, what happened?” Ven asked, eventually, “I-I just...”

“I don’t know where to begin, Ven.” Aqua replied.

“You just.... Appeared.” Ven huffed, “In a burst of light you were just there and it was- it was so confusing I’m still lost. I know you’re you, but... why? What? How? When, maybe?” He folded his hands on his chest, “We just wanna know about you, and now we wanna know why the Master doesn’t want us to.”

“I don’t know, Ven.” Aqua murmured.

“I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who doesn't love an awkward family dinner? also this is now probably my most successful AO3 fic so wowzers that happened really fast. I think it might get 100 kudos??? I've never gotten 100 kudos on anything?????
> 
> Also Rain suits her but IDK using the alias feels awkward af so I might ditch it and just keep it to that chapter as part of her dissociation moment. As I'm posting this I'll be at work all day, but I think soon I'll be responding to comments and answering a few things so keep an eye out!


	6. Chapter 6

“Sooo... We have two Aquas, and we’re not allowed to talk to one for... reasons?” Ven pondered aloud.

“Yeah.” Terra quipped.

“And... Master’s said basically deal with it?”

“Pretty much.”

“Okay, but... Why are there two Aquas?”

“Ditto.”

“I mean, what, did someone clone her?”

“Ditto.”

“Time travel?”

“Maybe.”

“But what happened?”

“Dunno.”

Ven looked down at Terra with a pout, “You can say a sentence, can’t you?” 

He yelped when he fell off when Terra rolled over, grunting, “Not with you on my back.” He sighed and folded his hands on his chest, “Lay off the sweets next time.”

“Excuse you!” Ven snapped back, “I haven’t had a cookie in hours!”

“Heavier than last time.” Terra replied.

“Doing push ups with me on your back is your idea...” Ven grumbled, folding his arms.

Terra flexed with a smug smile, “Keeps the guns in shape.”

“Whatever.” Ven fell back on the ground with him, pouting. He huffed and rolled over eventually, and started slaughtering the poor, defenseless grass a couple blades at a time. He inspected a few, and a small pile of grass and a ruined section of law later he rolled back onto his back and used a bit of grass as a whistle.

“That’s kinda annoying...” Terra said with an askance glance at the boy.

Ven sat up with a loud, insistent, “PWHEEEEEEE”.

Terra sat up with him, unamused, “Ven-”

“PWWEWEWEWEWEWE-”

“Ven-”

“PHWEWEWEWEWE- pbfbstftttt...” A rather sad whoopie cushion noise signaled the grass whistle broke, and Ven tossed it away in anger.

“It’s about Aqua, isn’t it?” Terra asked.

“Yeah.” Ven curled up, slumping forward on his knees.

Terra let out a deep, deep sigh. He took the time to think about how to explain to Ven what was going on, struggling to get into his impulsive, childish head. It was hard when he was lost on more than a few things, too, but maybe that made it all the more important to give Ven something to go off of. “I’m sure Master Eraqus means well.” Ven grunted for his reply. Terra held out his hand, “Pinky promise he means well?”

Ven eyed it with an excessive show of scrutiny, then looped their pinkies together, “I get to break this, right?” The joking tones of his voice returned, and his grin lit right back up.

“Only if Master Eraqus doesn’t mean well by not telling us about Aqua.” Terra chuckled. He leaned back, “She’s a tough, pretty girl.”

He paused for a moment, thinking about what he’d said. He’d meant pretty tough, he swore. Ven, meanwhile, devilishly grinned and began humming. Terra’s face flushed after the first five notes, instantly recognizing the bouncing, irritating tune. Even if every word had been substituted for Ven’s infuriatingly smug “mm”s, Terra knew every word and letter.

Before Ven could even get to the non-existent “G” he was roughly elbowed in the ribs.

“Ooof!” Ven wheezed, falling back with a hand dramatically clawing at the air, “Terra...! Oh... Et tu, Terra?”

“Can I break your pinky for being not funny?”

“No... That- that wasn’t part of the deal!”

“Neither was being not funny.”

“I’m a comedic genius, admit it.”

~*~

Unsurprisingly, both Aquas had found themselves engaging in similar tasks and activities. Though stiff, quiet, and strained, they moved through and did much of the chores they were assigned and relaxed to similar tunes. Maybe Aqua managed to get a strained smile or two in, hoping that maybe this rapport between them was going to grow and flourish. She even tried one of her old jokes about Terra and Ven, one about boys being boys and getting chewed out later for slacking on their half.

Past Aqua was digging into a tome of magic, but future Aqua was reading a novel. She’d had enough of learning through pain, and if she was to relax, then... let her relax. She barely understood the concept anymore, but this light reading was something.

They slowly met eyes, then looked around to check the door. Past Aqua folded her book closed, leaning forward, lips trembling and somewhat scared to speak knowing the embargo on the situation. Future Aqua leaned forward as well, silently readying herself to accept what questions her past self had. She knew she had many, but still wondered if she could answer them all properly. The apprentice sank back. So did the Master.

They really were a mirror, Aqua realized. The same question burned in their hearts: Why? They had different means and reasons, but they both desperately wished to know why, and apparently could only hope that someone would listen.

“Can you leave?” Aqua of the past spoke first, a tired murmur. “Leave us alone.”

Aqua shrugged, “I don’t know how I got here, how can you expect me to-”

“Go to some other world then!” Past Aqua stood, walking forward, “Go somewhere else! Anywhere but here! You have a Keyblade, you can go wherever you want!” Aqua leaned back with every leveraging step, “You’re disturbing the peace-”

“I’m trying to live here as peacefully as I can!” Aqua shot back.

“You tried to murder Master Xehanort! Twice!” Past Aqua yelled, the disgust of the thought clear in her voice, “You’re- you’re obviously insane!”

Aqua couldn’t exactly deny that claim. She set aside her book, “Please, I-I just-” A motivation. Why she was staying here and not journeying to other worlds. “All I want is to see Terra and Ven-”

“Stay away from them!” Past Aqua hissed, “I don’t want you anywhere near them-”

“We’re the same person,” Aqua protested, “do you really think I’d-”

“WE’RE NOT THE SAME BECAUSE I’M NOT A HOMICIDAL FAILURE LIKE YOU!” Past Aqua screeched. Aqua felt her heart stop. It skipped a few beats before she saw her past self struggling to hold back frustrated tears, “We have no idea why you’re here and what happened and the Master expects us to be happy with that... No one wants to wonder why you’re like this- w-why I’m like this... No, they just want to call you crazy and forget I’m right there, they want to cover it up.” Her head hung like a noose, “I’m scared of what I’m going to become and all I want is to know... but no one will tell me...”

After a moment, she spat, “You should never have come here! Get out of my sight and quit making my heart falter with your presence!”

Aqua raised her hand, wondering if she should tell her past self anything. She didn’t even know if she would change anything, she didn’t know what would happen, she didn’t want to lie and say she’d soar above her expectations, or tell her the truth and smash any desire in her heart. What did she tell herself?

Master Eraqus arrived, and didn’t need a second more to understand what happened.

“Aqua, how about you go find Terra and Ventus and hone your skills against each other?” She left, but not without a dirty look at her future self. Eraqus watched her leave and sighed. “All the more proof she isn’t ready.”

“I must ask, Master, am I ready?” Aqua murmured. “I want to know why I’m here, or at least how.” She could only wonder when she’d get a proper explanation, and if anyone was going to know, it should’ve been her.

Eraqus had always had a heavy-set face dragged under with age, but even more years were added on. She’d never seen his grey eyes so doleful, nor his shoulders bearing such a weight. He shook his head, “Perhaps shortly, Aqua, but I need more time to understand myself.”

~*~

She was sparring with Terra in the atrium. The Mark of Mastery had shifted from facing each other to Terra and past Aqua facing her. A more advanced target for a more advanced pupil, Master Eraqus had said.

Aqua honestly had trouble holding back, she couldn’t reel in the ringing strike of blade against blade and it always felt like minutes too precious to delay healing what wounds she created. She’d agreed, knowing Master Eraqus must’ve understood that this would test their mettle much better, but was it necessary? Terra hesitated, but Aqua’s past self had no such hesitation. Aqua wondered if they were evenly matched, if it weren’t for reflexes and age.

And then she saw something in the rafters. A boy in a mask. Darkness. Aqua went on a full offense, dropping one target and everything else in favor of another. If she could stop the boy, maybe Ven wouldn’t run from home, maybe she could foil Xehanort by removing one of his pawns. She didn’t flinch when her past self got a few blasts of magic in, and soon found that others were attacking the boy in the mask now leaping between banisters.

Aqua ran up a wall, then tried using it as a springboard to leap through the air. She wished she could see his terrified face, but had to settle for her wild eyes and raised Keyblade reflected in the dark glass as she bellowed, “LEAVE THEM ALONE!”

She didn’t remember him being slain so easily, but that was ten years ago. She was stronger. Stronger than him, than Xehanort, than the darkness. Terra was downright speechless, her past self kept asking what had just happened. Eraqus was asking for everyone to calm down and wondering where Master Xehanort had gone.

A wet sound brought it all to a stop, and Aqua turned to notice Ven’s face had gone blank. His eyes were wide and glassy, his posture swayed. He staggered back and clutched his chest with one hand while the other clawed at his mouth. He coughed up red, blinding, horrible red, and started falling back.

Aqua sat up, “VEN!”

She panted heavily, and someone muttered something. She couldn’t tell if it was a question, a command, she only gasped, “Ven?!” She threw away the blankets and tripped over pillows in a mad scramble, “VENTUS?!” The corridors were so long, so empty, so dark. “VEN?! VEN WHERE ARE YOU?!” She screamed.

Footsteps. People were following her. They were following her to Ven. They couldn’t have him. They never would. “GET AWAY!” She threw back a wall of fire, and resumed her flee to let it consume the halls behind her and what creatures lay in the dark. Her vision was blurred, swaths of white and black the only things she could say for sure was there as the red embers behind her vanished from her peripheral.

The atrium. The throne. He was asleep there, she had to wake him up before it was too late-

Aqua stumbled to a stop in the atrium, tripping on her train and falling to her knees before whirling around wildly immediately after. “VEN?! VENTUS?!” A thousand Aquas called out, each of of them desperate for anything to let them know he was okay. He was a boy, he never deserved any of this, he wasn’t supposed to be caught in such grand, malicious machinations nor threats of death and despair-

“Aqua? Aqua, I’m here...?”

Her head swiveled on a point towards the hall. Ven was walking forward, away from the Masters and his friends, hands held out and shaking with unsteady steps and something more. “A-are you okay?” His blue eyes glowed in the moonlight.

Aqua all but leapt at him, wrapping her arms around him and weeping. She couldn’t form words, only gasps and sobs and wheezes that vaguely sounded like his name. Her hands tangled in his hair, holding him as close to her as she could. She could feel him reluctantly swallow, hesitantly wrap his arms around her in return.

“It’s okay.” He said with a waver in his voice. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“You’re- you’re okay and- and that’s all that matters...” Aqua whimpered in return. She held him yet tighter, “That’s all that matters.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All y'all: dissociating Aqua makes my kokoro brokoro  
> Me: okay u want more right
> 
> in other news I'm just gonna shamelessly plug in a friendly reminder that I have more fics than this! Wow! Look at all that reading. Maybe give 'em a try while waiting for this to update? Fics about things like: Ven struggling with Post-BBS! Ven and Riku bonding over equally sucky character arcs! Sora coping with PTSD! Xehanort having a heart! Crack ships! Unpopular ships! Im gonna make you ship the weirdest things! Fixing atrocious writing! Writing brilliant things that will never happen because I'm invested in a badly-written franchise (hint it's all of them)!
> 
> anyways I'll try and keep the updates comin' but they might start slowing down a bit because I don't exactly know where Aqua's gonna end up but when in doubt you ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	7. Chapter 7

Aqua was in her element. The water before her plunged into a pool just behind the mass of white and foam, out of sight and drowned out by the roar of a waterfall and drippings in the wet cavern she sat in. It felt almost like home. Almost. The darkness at her back was gripping, seething, biding its time to consume her.

“Do you recall how we used to do this?” Eraqus asked, his voice forming its own rush of water.

“Deep breath in,” Aqua replied.

“Deep breath out.” Eraqus finished.

They welcomed the silence rolling in after that. Aqua could feel herself drifting, but welcomed it as she counted breaths and stilled her mind. She could hear a dim echo of the apprentices, probably somewhere farther away and too indistinct to tell what they were talking about.

“I’ve brought you here,” Eraqus started, slowly, “because I feel this would be a safer environment to discuss with you the nature of your predicament.”

The darkness gnawing at her back disagreed. Aqua ignored it and pressed forward, “So, Master Eraqus, you mentioned traveling through time?” She turned to him, “I thought such a thing was for stories.”

Eraqus took pause before speaking, “It isn’t, but the rarity is worthy of being dismissed as stories.” He held out his hands, starting his explaination, “The essence of time itself is more a river with an insurmountable current, Aqua. It will always move forward regardless of your will. We are only fish in the stream, yes?”

Aqua nodded, “Yes, but-”

“Now, if for a moment we were to abandon our watery existence and, say, jump through the air, we would end up somewhere else in the river regardless of the current, correct?”

“... yes.”

“And gravity eventually brings us back into the river. We cannot escape its grasp for long. Such principle is a fundamental rule that even traveling through time cannot break. But one can jump, and thus end up in a new time, and as with all actions one can take there must be a few conditions.”

Aqua broke her meditative form to lean forward, head tilted and gaze focused on every word.

“To traverse time, you are limited to your own span of life. You must exist at the time you wish to see. To even jump forwards or back and subject yourself to the flow of time again requires that you lose your body.”

“But Master I-” Aqua’s throat seized shut when she realized exactly how she’d met such a condition. They shared a gaze, Eraqus calm and steady and Aqua’s own composure faltering with every second. She’d lost her heart, of course she had. She thought that maybe she’d gotten it back but-

“You’re not a Heartless, but... your presence is... lacking.” Eraqus murmured softly. “I cannot tell if it is because of the horrors you’ve seen or other means. Only that something is not right. I may... I may only be wondering where you... where you went.”

Aqua leaned back and hummed in reply. Maybe the darkness had taken her. Not the visible, monstrous kind, but something much more duplicitous, darker and more sinister. A change on her heart that would always be there, an insurmountable shadow where she would never be the same again even if she truly returned to light.

But she could change everything. She could change it right now, make sure she was never tainted and her friends never suffered for her mistakes. If she’d traveled back in time then maybe-

“Aqua, do not fill your thoughts with needless fantasy.” Eraqus cut in, as if he could hear every single idea yelling in her head about how she could stop all of it from happening. Ven and Terra could become Masters, she’d never set even a pinky toe in the Realm of Darkness, she’d never have to hear those terrible words and broke something far deeper than bone-

“Aqua.”

“I can save them...” She murmured, “I can save them this time, I-I can fix this-”

She fell silent when Eraqus placed his hand on her shoulder, “Aqua you must understand-”

“I need to go.” She stood, staring at the water and preparing to pierce it. “I don’t have much time to stop this. If Xehanort is- I-I need to-”

Eraqus had stood and held her hand. She looked back to watch the disturbed wrinkles under his widened eyes. “You cannot.” He said. Shortly after his tone darkened, decreeing, “I forbid it, Aqua.” There was a waver in his voice that made her wonder if he truly believed that could stop her.

Aqua pulled back, “W-what do you mean I can’t? I-I-I’m here and-”

“Aqua, there is one more condition you must meet:” Eraqus said, but not without a long, long, unbearable pause. It took him ages to come to terms with the words he spoke, “You can’t change what is destined to happen, Aqua.”

She blinked slowly. Something started slipping beneath her feet, more weightless than only losing her balance on slippery rock. “W-what?”

“The events that are destined to happen cannot be changed.” Eraqus said, slower but just as insistent, “And that is why I’ve not inquired to details of your story, why I have forbid my apprentices from speaking with you.” He let go, and for the first time in Aqua’s life she watched his gaze fall to the floor in defeat, “The effort and knowledge is... pointless....”

Aqua felt hazy again, she felt the world turning into felt and foam. Her breaths started shaking, her gaze started swimming. What was destined to happen then? Everything? Her suffering, her torment? Master Eraqus...

They met gazes, the same horrible truth reflecting in each other’s eyes. Eraqus folded his arms behind his back and turned away first.

“I understand this is beyond tempting to you, but... For our sakes, do not try to fix what is forever broken.” There was a new sort of vulnerability to his tone, subtle in the slight groans and sighs and attempts to stop it from shaking. “Trying to change what has happened may only make things crash down harder than you have seen.”

Aqua couldn’t stop looking at everything. She couldn’t center herself. Eventually she walked forward, and she could see the familiar courtyards of home before she stopped. “How... how do you know?” She asked, soft and apologetic with a thin strand of icy accusation.

“We can’t.” Eraqus admitted.

“Then why can’t I try?” Aqua was feeling herself grounding, her resolve pulling her down by her feet. Her hands already ached at the prospect of blood on them, but she suddenly understood Terra’s similar anger so long ago- and technically now. Anything. Anything to save Terra and Ven. Even if the only thing anyone saw ever again was a monster and she went down in history as a promising candidate that succumbed to dark desires.

“Aqua, so help me if you try-”

“Why CAN’T I try?” Aqua insisted, “Master, do you know what happens to you-”

“I DO NOT WISH TO KNOW!” Eraqus barked at her. The crease of his brow, the continued wideness of his gaze, the way the corners of his mouth pulled with grief. The anger in conflict with despair barely held by a thin mask of composure that was ripping to shreds every second. He turned away, repeating with a firm anger, “One meets his destiny on the path he takes to avoid it-”

“I don’t care!” Aqua yelled, tears finally find their way to her eyes, “Master, if you cared for one second about Terra, about Ven, about me, about your own safety, you would let me do this-”

“I don’t know what will happen, Aqua! Do any of us know if your interference will change anything?!” Eraqus yelled right back, “As your Master I say leave it be!”

“As a Master,” Aqua growled, “I say it’s worth the risk if we can make a brighter future! Isn’t that what you raised us for? Giving the worlds a light in the darkness?”

“Not at the risk of a deeper shadow than we could ever comprehend!” Eraqus hissed, “Not with reckless, selfish abandon! Aqua, do you wish this suffering upon anyone else?” Aqua felt herself falter. She took a step back, her lips hung uselessly open. 

“Who said that was going to happen?” She finally asked.

Eraqus sighed deeply and covered his face. “Aqua, I had hoped I taught you better than this.”

“You taught me to protect and I am-”

“Aqua, if what is on our horizon to be the sacrifice you must make for the worlds to continue in harmony, you must understand what is best for all-”

“The worlds still face peril even years from now! Years when I could’ve been there to help!” Aqua felt her blood boil once more upon recalling how her duties fell upon the shoulders of children because she had let all that was about to transpire happen. She could change it, shoulder the load of the future, and relieve so many more problems. “Master, please, just let me-”

“If this is your cross to bear, then bear it.” Eraqus cut her off. “I would rather have you take the path traveled than suffer even more or abandon your responsibility on an unknown road.”

Aqua could feel something crumbling beneath her stomach. Something that wasn’t as steady as the ground beneath her feet, but sure felt like it. It churned with disgust, and conflict. She came to the conclusion it was her confidence in Master Eraqus.

“Do you know what he plans to do?” Aqua asked, soft and cold.

Eraqus didn’t reply.

“Master Xehanort will-”

“I don’t wish to hear it.” Eraqus stopped her once more. He walked away and past her, not even a dismissal passing his lips. There was something scathing in that silence, the lack of the familiar “you are dismissed” felt biting and angry.

“I know you think you’re friends,” Aqua called out to him, “but-”

“Say more and I will personally banish you from this world.” Eraqus said softly. “I have given you my knowledge and my counsel, and I promise you that expunging you from this place will not be as difficult as such an action was last time.”

Aqua let him leave, head bowed in silent defeat.

~*~

Aqua had stopped training. She read and read from her bed in a desperate search for answers that none of her books had. She could feel something pressing, desperate. Something that gripped her heart with deadly force that made it wither.

It was that damned version of herself that had supposedly seen the Realm of Darkness, which was ludicrous. Only a few texts- old and dubious ones from days of Unions that ceased to exist -told of what lay in the shadowy corner of the universe, and even then nothing but Heartless and dead worlds could hold claim to its depths.

That probably explained the scars and the downright trigger-happy attitudes though.

“Aqua?” Ven poked his head through the door.

“Shouldn’t you be saying that to her?” Aqua scoffed.

“I’m saying it to you...” Ven mumbled, taking it was invitation to scoot in.

Aqua looked at her book, but couldn’t read it. Ven sat down on the bed next to her, fiddling with his hands. She turned an unread page. He began humming and continued to fidget. Her room had always felt the most open, welcome to her family and warm, but ever since sharing company with the duplicate who thought sleeping on the floor was preferable there was an icy chill. Sometimes quite literally, since Aqua had started trying to perfect Spellweaver. She’d seen it in grandiose action, and she was determined to not be outdone by anyone. Even herself.

“... You think she might be right? A-about... About Master...” Ven found the name catching in his throat.

“Master Xehanort is our Master’s dear old friend.” Aqua said with a reassuring warmth, as if she suddenly recalled what her role was in relation to Ventus. “I promise he doesn’t mean any harm.” She tried to laugh, “A bit scary though, right? His gaze is so intense all the time, like he’s trying too hard.”

Her laughter faltered when she saw the look on Ven’s face. Hollow, terrified, with open and trembling eyes and a taut frown. “H-he... at the demonstration...” He said, slower and careful than was suited for him. He leaned over, brought his feet up and hugged his legs. “I-I know I’m gonna sound crazy but- but I’ve... I swear I’ve seen that before.” Ven’s voice fluctuated between cracking squeaks and breathless whispers.

“Ven?” Aqua asked, turning softer yet and touching his shoulder. He felt like a leaf on the wind.

“... I-I just... wonder if he’s... If the other Aqua is...” He looked away, painfully admitting, “if she’s right.”

“She’s crazy.” Aqua huffed. “I bet she isn’t even me, I bet the Master’s just saying that because it’s the only thing that makes barely any sense. She’s probably just someone who’s a little lost and needs help remembering who she is.”

Ven looked back at her, brow furrowing, “You don’t sound like you believe that.”

She didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the long time to update, found it hard to figure out how to carry things forward!
> 
> Also @ all of you all "Eraqus is hiding something!1!!1!" look it was just time travel bs with a dose of "things man was not meant to know" u can chill guys lol.


	8. Chapter 8

Aqua felt at an impasse of far too many things. Her morals, her Master’s will, her apathy, her determination. They all pushed her back into that listless corner of quiet resignation. She felt empty again. It was oddly welcome, familiar, at least, and helped her push forward. In this case she decided to wander like she had done for so long. The ache in her legs was something to preoccupy her, and the twilight was close enough to darkness for her to feel right at home.

She stopped her meditative walk when she saw Terra watching the endless mountains past their home illuminated in golden light. She froze, then relaxed, and she watched him. The warm glint of his dark grey eyes that shimmered with hopeful blue. His fierce, intense look that seemed to judge everything in his path but only hid a heart too vast and great to...

She couldn’t help it, and jogged over to sit next to him. _Hello._ He did nothing, and she scooted a little closer, hands holding her knees like the girl she once was. _I missed you._

He didn’t even bat an eyelash.

Aqua continued drinking in his presence, and too many feelings hit her hollow heart at once. How much she missed him, in ways she never thought she’d yearn for anyone. She wanted to hold his hand, feel his embrace, his breath on her neck-

“... yes?” He finally looked at her. His brows were scrunched, his lips relaxed but clearly frowning. She found she couldn’t read him as clearly as she remembered, she couldn’t decipher what their silent signals were.

“I-I just...” Aqua tucked her hair behind her ear and scooted away. _Sorry._

“We’re not supposed to talk, you know.” He moved his lean from backwards to opposite her.

Aqua nodded her head. “I just... missed you.” She scooted her hand closer. _Please?_ Terra sighed and pulled his hand further away from her to lean it on his knee. Aqua pulled her hand away. _Alright._

“Where were you?” Terra asked, “It’s not like I wouldn’t find you.”

Aqua felt herself perk up at the casual declaration of his devotion. She leaned over, “Y-yeah, I-” The moment burst like the bubbles they would make during those younger summer nights, the ones they tried to use to kidnap fireflies but forgot their purpose in the iridescent lens against their world.

It was Aqua’s turn to lean back like she didn’t want to be there, shrinking and curling up.

“I was beyond your reach.” Tears leaked over and she bit her lip. Her shoulder raised, as if that would hide the ugly weakness she was showing, “For so long I was-”

“Never.” Terra said, and Aqua felt his hand on her shoulder. She looked up. He wasn’t smiling, but there was a sort of softness that was close enough to make it easy to think so. “I’ll always find you and Ven. You know that.”

Aqua didn’t stop herself. She didn’t stop the raging force behind her arms that shoved her forward into his. She didn’t dam the tears and her words bled into a stream of incomprehensible relief and regret and reliance. She could see him drowning in it, drowning in the darkness now in her heart pouring out in a desperate bid for him to tell her everything was okay and it was going to be okay. There was always something in the way he said it that made her feel safe. 

Terra’s eyes were wide, his expression curled with surprise and horror and it jolted with every word he could actually understand. He pushed her away, letting the flow trickle away as he held her shoulders. She leaned her head against his hand, weeping but smiling. He was so steady, so constant. He was her lighthouse upon a rocky cliff. Her hands lingered on his arm, wrapped them around him like seaweed on driftwood.

His hand moved to her cheek, and his thumb brushed away her tears. _What happened to you?_

Aqua hiccuped and thought her words out. “Don’t... Never give in to the darkness, okay? Please.”

She could read the crease in his brow, the way his pupils shrunk. _Never what?!_

She lifted her hand, hesitating enough to leave it shaking madly in the air, before she gently brushed aside his hair and held his cheek, curled her fingers around his strong jaw. “Please.” She begged.

Terra’s eyes closed, and while he hesitated doing so he pressed into her touch a little more with a firm nod. Aqua felt her eyes drifting over his features again, how his nose stuck out in a stubborn way, how thick his eyelashes were and how easily they hid his gaze, the slightest wave of his hair in the breeze. Suddenly he was darkness, a black hole drawing her closer, closer, closer...

Their foreheads were touching when Aqua heard footsteps, and she jolted away. Master Keeper appeared without even a thought.

Aqua of the past stared at them both. There was something in her hand that shone like starlight as it fell to the ground. She kept blinking, gaping at the scene while everyone tried to make sense of what was transpiring.

“A-Aqua uh...” Terra spoke first, raising both his hands at both Aquas, “B-both of you look we can-”

“First Ven and now Terra.” Past Aqua said with a firm, flat, and furious conviction. Exasperated, if only to cover the cracks in her heart.

“W-what do you mean? Aqua what’s gotten into you?” Terra asked.

“No, no I get it.” Past Aqua said, turning her head, fists balling in her sash. She turned on a dime, “I understand everything.”

“Aqua! W-wait! Please, I promise-” Terra scrambled to his feet, reaching after her image quickly fading into the twilit shadows. He paused to look back at the other Aqua, the broken bluebird that had wound up on their door. “What was that for?!” He demanded.

Aqua squirmed, but found no voice to explain. _I missed you. I missed you so much, Terra._

“Forget it.” Terra sighed. He brushed back his bangs for a moment before running after her. The real her. “Aqua! Hey! Look we can talk about this!”

Aqua stumbled after Terra, but let him go. She let her hand lower and watched the image of his back, preserving the guilt and heartbreak in her memory. The bitter taste of irony in her mouth refused to leave, perhaps her punishment for becoming her biggest enemy. She walked forward, ready to head back in if it weren’t for the small crunch beneath her feet.

Her Wayfinder, metal bent out of shape and glass lost forever to the tangled grass under her feet.

“No!” She gasped, instantly dropping to her feet and collecting the scraps, “No! No! No no no no no!” The glass cut into her hands easily, but that didn’t matter. She looked up after where her friend and self had gone, hoping to see one of them turn around for such an important gift, but no one was around.

Her hands clasped around the Wayfinder.

The pain did not bother her.

~*~

Aqua downright shoved Ven out of the way, leading for his first words being: “Hey! What gives?!” against the wall instead of a jaunty hello and high-fives. Terra rushed by soon after. “Terra?! Hey what’s...” The two were gone in an instant, “goin’ on...”

Ven sighed. Wasn’t easy being the kid, was it?

He folded his arms, wondering if it’d be worth it to sneak after them and figure out for himself instead of during the awkward aftermath. He was just about to tramp down the hall in agreement with the plan when a voice behind him stopped him:

“I think we both know you have better things to do.”

Honored guest or not, Master Xehanort’s voice crawled down Ven’s back like drool or ice cubes or some sick combo of the two. He straightened uncomfortably as if that were so and turned around, “Master! H-hello...” He squeaked softly, “how are you?”

“I am well, thank you. Perhaps I’ve never been better.” Master Xehanort replied, his steps deliberate and steadily paced. Ven felt like each one was a bell ringing ever closer to doomsday. “Ventus, my boy, don’t you know becoming involved in such petty drama is above a distinguished young man such as yourself?”

“I-I- uh... guess?” Ven shrugged, “T-they’re my friends I just wanna-”

“Their matters do not concern you.” Xehanort insisted. “Even the closest of allies must have privacy every now and then, no?” He’d stopped just behind Ven, still in the corner of his eyes. He felt trapped.

“I-I wanna help, though...” Ven protested weakly.

His shoulders almost touched his ears when Xehanort put a hand on his shoulder, “Why don’t you come with me, instead? We have much to talk about, don’t we?”

Ventus knew in his heart his place was with his friends. They needed him! They needed someone to help bring them together and make sure things were okay! But he swallowed, forced a smile, and decided maybe that was just because he’d rather be with friends than a Master who was probably just giving him some one-on-one tutoring.

“R-right.” He turned and began following the Master. He couldn’t stop the shaking in his hands, the bells in his head with every footstep. Master Xehanort was so quiet, Ven couldn’t take it after about ten seconds- a new record, at least. “I-I know I wasn’t as cool as Terra and Aqua the other day, b-but Master Eraqus has always said he sees promise in me! I just need to work a little harder, right?!”

“Yes,” Master Xehanort replied. The way such a simple word was stretched like taffy made Ven’s jaw ache and stomach churn like he’d ate way too much sugar even for his standards. “You are a boy with more potential and promise than anyone realizes, Ventus.”

Ven made a silent wish to never hear his name like that again. He grabbed at his hands, tugged at his lucky wristband, eventually began tugging at his hair. “S-so what do we need to talk about, Master?” Ven asked, “B-because I know I have potential-”

“Oh, just humor an aging man, wouldn’t you, boy?” Master Xehanort hummed, “Just let us walk, talk, let the passing of knowledge transpire between us as it always has between the elderly and the youth.”

The silence after such made Ven’s mouth dry.

“Master...” Ven murmured, “Um...”

“Go on, spit it out. I only bite at stupid questions, you can ask Eraqus of such.” Master Xehanort pressed.

“What must I do to reach my potential, Master Xehanort?”

How could he keep his friends in his grasp before they flew away?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed me replying to their comments! now time for the ultimate response of there being pain and tons of it o3o


	9. Chapter 9

Aqua wondered if she could fix this. She’d slammed everything on the counter and was desperately trying to piece it back together, use magic to turn her hands into a living blowtorch to melt everything just how it was because she couldn’t even begin to remember how she made it. But nothing worked, nothing became the familiar star shape.

She buried her face in her hands.

She couldn’t remember.

She couldn’t...

~*~

“Aqua, come on! Please?!” Terra yelled through her door. He only earned her silence in return, but that didn’t mean he was giving up. He pressed up against it more, “Aqua, I know you’re in there and I’m sorry-”

“For what?” Aqua bitterly replied, her voice slightly lower from where he was.

Terra knelt on the ground, pressed his hands where he could imagine she was, “F-for- for _that!_ I didn’t mean-” He sighed, “She started it! That wasn’t my idea!” He frowned at the bitter laugh that replied. “L-like I was really going to kiss her.” Terra’s protest was faltering, “Come on, you know I’m not into that stuff.” He turned his back to the door and crossed his arms.

Aqua brought her knees in closer. Her cheeks were coated in tears, some of them becoming blotches in her clothing and others coaxing yet more. She was a disgrace, like this. She was like _her_. Already falling so far, but she was so _scared_.

~*~

Aqua had given up on repairing it. Maybe if she gave it back and apologized her younger self could fix it. She wandered desperately, wondering where she had gone, all the while clinging to shards of glass and strips of metal. Eventually she ripped up a portion of her sash for a small bundle to carry it in, tucking it into the pocket of the fabric around her waist.

She passed through another corridor in a haze. Everything was fading in and out, voices were at the corners of her ears. She pressed on only to find a way to rescue this small, pitiful symbol of bonds she no longer had. It was all she had left. Nothing. 

Aqua didn’t know where she was, just that she was higher in the castle than she usually was on a balcony. The sky was dusty, the ugly, muddy mauve just after sunset as the sky morphed from twilight to night, an awkward stage between the two natural splendors. She blinked at it, slow and ponderous like the light just wasn’t reaching her eyes-

Movement. She’d gone too long adjusting to shadows and monsters at the corner of her eyes to not notice, even from so far and so high. She did a double take, bending over the railing to confirm what she was seeing wasn’t her heart playing tricks.

~*~

“What’s gotten into you?” Terra’s voice wormed its way back in.

“What’s gotten into _you?!_ ” Aqua snapped right back. Her palm smacked against the floor. “A-and Ven, and- and...” She curled back up, “And everyone else.”

“... Nothing?” Terra’s reply was soft. Aqua felt something- about the way the door shifted, the smallest brush against her sash, and turned her gaze to the floor to see Terra’s fingertips pushed through the crack and brushing the light blue cloth. “Are you okay?”

“What makes ANY of you think I’m okay?!” Aqua snapped back. “Why does anyone think I’m fine with her running around and- and threatening Masters a-and looking like that-” Like the world was falling apart and she didn’t care, “You all flock to her-”

“Because she’s hurt, Aqua!” Terra’s sigh became exasperated, “We’re trying to help her-”

“ ** _I’M HURT, TOO!_** ”

~*~

Master Xehanort and Ventus. Aqua’s blood froze. Her hands gripped the cold marble, nails bending under the stress and crying out in unheard pain. It grew tighter and tighter, her brow became more and more tangled. She shook at the gloved hand around tense shoulders, could see even in the smallest wobble than Ventus was itching to run. She could hear nothing, but she didn’t need to with the bloodthirsty roar in her ears.

Then came her Keyblade.

Then came her cry as she launched herself off the balcony railing.

~*~

The outburst came and went in three small words. It left behind only a deep chill, colder than what even magic could summon. Thick tears bubbled over, and after a few struggling sobs she still couldn’t find any more suitable words. “I’m hurt, too...” Her hands rose to grip her hair as she fell further apart, “I’m- I’m scared, Terra! I-I don’t-” Not like her. She didn’t want to be her.

The door suddenly started moving, and Aqua threw her weight against it in a desperate bid to stop Terra from opening it. Alas, as always Terra was stubborn when he set his mind to something, on top of focusing much more on physical strength than her, and so soon enough he was kneeling at her side.

She scooted and looked away.

He held her close and tight.

~*~

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!” Aqua howled, her only warning to Master Xehanort before her blade ended his life. It was more than enough. She knew it before he even pushed Ventus out of the way and parried her blow with a force that reverberated through everything and anything like a small gale.

“Aqua?!” Ven called out, “Aqua what are you-”

Aqua jumped back, holding out her arm to cover him while the other bared her blade. “Ventus, are you hurt?” Her gaze was stone and ice, cold and finely sculpted into a tranquil fury that would only remain tranquil for a moment longer. It was not human wrath, it was the storm that would topple mountains with the direction and force of a lightning strike. She locked onto a threat she would end here and now. 

She didn’t care if time would not allow it. She would bend time over her knee and save her friends.

“Y-yeah but-”

Aqua needed to hear no more from Ventus before she charged. Her Keyblade met Xehanort’s again, and the satisfaction of seeing him stumble was too satisfying. He held his ground, metal screeched at metal and blue and gold met with a violent clash. They needed to speak no words, daring the other to make a move.

“You’re no Master.” Xehanort spoke first, voice low and taunting. “Just a girl who holds no concept of what the worlds truly are.”

“This _girl_ ,” Aqua hissed back, “Is going to stop you.”

Ven watched the stalemate with a gaping expression as large as the holes in his understanding. He sat up and reached for Aqua, then shrank back and hesitated. Did he get Terra? Was this- no she was pale and sharp and torn this was the other Aqua. Did he need to get the real Aqua then? Master Eraqus? 

“Aqua, stop!” He yelled, holding out his hand again. She only jumped away again, summoning thunder and lightning that incinerated the grass and threw dirt left and right. Xehanort moved slowly, and Ventus was scared he wouldn’t hold up until he started throwing ice at her. Ven was forced to scramble back, at least finally having an old, old lecture about his responsibility as a Keyblade wielder sink in:

Keyblades were powerful, and in the right hands inhuman strength became a force of nature itself.

Aqua’s blade almost glowed with heat as it summoned spell after spell. Xehanort was too well protected and mindful in close quarters, she knew she had to whittle him down and wait for openings. She had to draw him away. Ven could not get caught in the crossfire, she wouldn’t allow it. She wouldn’t allow it if there was a drop of blood in her veins and a puff of air in her lungs.

Xehanort stepped back and she lunged, acting on what may have been her only chance, only to be knocked away. The blow almost knocked the air from her, but she skidded and dug the teeth of her Keyblade into the earth to hold her. Ven’s voice rang in her ears, fading in and out. Her breaths moved in and out. Voices and shadows and lights moved in and out, in and out, in... out...

She pulled herself from the earth.

“My name,”

Xehanort was readying some sort of attack, but she was, too. Something was boiling in her, burning, already set in motion by the determination in her heart.

“is Master Aqua.”

She could feel sweat pouring down her brow as she walked forward, one step became two and two became four, four became sixteen and more. She was running with everything she had. The light of the day was dying, but she was a new light, a new dawn, streaking across the courtyard.

“And you will remember me,”

Charging now with reckless abandon, her hands gripping the hilt of Master’s Defender as she slammed it into Xehanort with force she had never known more than once. She knew it in a harsher place, barren soil covered in a soft blue light. Something was white hot against her side, and she only realized it when it fell from her as she toppled to the ground with Xehanort. Her breath shook, her temples pounded, her heartbeat moved with such fervor she couldn’t feel it. Voices swarmed like the echoes of ringing bells, the rusty twilight was turning blue as she stared down at Xehanort and raised her blade.

She was going to _end this._

“As your undoing!”

Ventus took the opportunity to rush into the fray, “AQUA STOP-”

A white light stole the courtyard from his gaze, and all that was left behind was Aqua’s wayfinder glinting in dying starlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (updates this like a month later) okay so I may or may not have had a lot of trouble figuring how to tie everything up kinda nice and neat but there is an epilogue too that I'm wrapping up as I type this. Probably will go up tomorrow/early morning since I have work in a bit so it really depends.
> 
> But anyways enjoy.


	10. Epilogue

A matter of days later Terra was determined to seal his darkness so he would never have to see the heartbreak and madness in Aqua’s eyes ever again.

A matter of days later Ventus had so many questions that he knew the only place he could get answers were the worlds beyond his own.

A matter of days later Aqua didn’t know what to believe, and while her turmoil continued in silence her gaze upon truth changed with every contradiction.

A matter of days later, they all knew why the future was so bleak, only aided by their desperate actions to stop it.

Aqua screamed as she felt herself being drawn back into the Realm of Darkness. She clawed madly at forces as if intangible magic would hold her. She had been so close, inches from putting an end to the pain, never hearing even a moment of heartbreak or loss. It was almost like she saw the future she had seen through rose-tinted glasses being torn from her, stolen by cruel fate and swept downriver faster than she could ever keep up with.

She was so close, and it stabbed her clean through like a white hot sword.

She stumbled onto lavender soil, screaming, wailing, tearing at her hair. She was alone again, in hell again. She couldn’t remember why she was breaking now. It had been ten years at least and now here she was howling like she was one of these beasts. She had broken, snapped, and she couldn’t recall for the life of her what was the straw what caused this why did she hurt-

“AQUA!”

“MASTER AQUA!”

The voices were upon her and she kept wailing, jumping away from hands in fear before faltering into an undignified sniffle as she looked down at her feet. She collapsed, a shaky, sob of a sigh asking one question: “Mickey?”

The mouse-king nodded, grinning wide if a bit concerned, “Found you again!” He giggled, “and this time we have a backup plan!”

Aqua wiped at her eyes. She couldn’t stop trembling. Her mouth flapped, useless.

“What happened to you?”

Aqua raised her head. She didn’t know the stranger... at least she thought she didn’t. His eyes were bright, almost glowing with how icy they were. His pale hair was cropped short, but it gathered in front of his gaze so careless she wondered if he could even see her. He looked away, “We, uh...” He rubbed the back of his neck, brows knitting together, “We almost got you but then you... vanished.”

“I-I don’t know but... M-Mickey who is this?” Aqua turned to her old friend, finally finding her voice again, “A-and why are you- I thought you wouldn’t- This place is dangerous-”

“I came back for you.” Mickey explained, holding her hand. When she pulled away, her wayfinder sat in her palm. Aqua smiled, tears springing up at the sight of it winking in the darkness.

“And I’m Riku.” The young man knelt and held out his hands, “It’s an honor to meet you, Master Aqua.”

“Where will we go?” She asked, her joy faltering, “We’re all... we’re all stuck here...”

Mickey and Riku looked at each other with grins so wide they burst at the seams with mirth and lit up even the deep darkness they all found themselves in.

And when Aqua saw the sun again for the first time in years, she had no tears to shed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we done!!! okay so I really dropped the ball there towards the end but I gotta say I haven't had an update schedule this consistent in years. I actually really adore how far this work went and how much everyone loved it and the boost it gave to my works over all. Like writing for yourself is nice, really nice, but it's even better seeing other people enjoy it, you know?
> 
> Thanks for your support, patience, and kudos, guys, it really means a lot :)
> 
> EDIT: as for next big ideas on the horizon, I've been considering making a second-gen fic after what was probably a really weird KH3 that's all angsty and dramatic and full of yet more children who deserve better, and currently fussing with a Ventus/Riku deity AU, but otherwise there has been no gigantic lightning bolt of inspiration.
> 
> I'm also spending a lot of time lately writing a KH summary for a friend that I just realized I could maybe publish here since it's really dumb.


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